美國藤校哈佛大學(xué)公布新一季優(yōu)秀申請人文書一覽

美國藤校哈佛，是一所本部坐落于美國麻薩諸塞州波士頓市劍橋區(qū)(Cambridge,Boston,Massachusetts,US)的私立研究型大學(xué)。因歷史、學(xué)術(shù)地位、影響力與財(cái)富等因素而獲評為世上最享負(fù)盛名的學(xué)府之一。

近日The Crimson公布了2023Fall錄取者的優(yōu)秀文書，并附上了每篇文章的點(diǎn)評。從這些例子中，我們能看到哈佛大學(xué)的文書偏好，以及生動鮮活的寫作技巧。留學(xué)美國

The Color of Everything

There’s a theory that even though each color has a specific wavelength that never changes,how people perceive a specific color may have subtle differences based on small differences in photoreceptors,and the color that one person might consider red might still be red in another’s mind but could look different—a little duller,softer,cooler.Furthermore,how a person’s brain processes the color may also be linked to that person’s environment.Some studies have suggested that color sensitivity could be linked to one’s native languages:for example,people who speak languages that have specific names for eleven colors are able to easily distinguish those eleven colors,but people who speak languages with fewer color specific words may have a harder time distinguishing them.

So it appears that even at the most elementary level of sight,the world is not an objective thing.Instead,what we know and what we remember can influence what and how we see.The color blue may just be the color blue to a three year old,perhaps her favorite color even,but an adult might connect it to so much more—the lake by his childhood home or the eye color of a loved one.

I first consciously became aware of the power that our experiences have to change perception when I went to turn on a light in my house after learning about photons in class.What had previously been a mundane light suddenly became a fascinating application of atomic structure,and I thought that I could almost perceive the electrons jumping up and down from energy level to energy level to produce the photons that I saw.I then realized that my world had steadily been changing throughout my years in school as I learned more and more.I now see oligopolies in the soda aisles of the supermarkets.I see the charges warring with each other in every strike of lightning,and the patterns of old American politics still swaying things today.Knowledge and making connections with that knowledge is the difference between seeing the seven oceans glittering in the sun and merely seeing the color blue.It’s the difference between just seeing red and seeing the scarlet of roses blooming,the burgundy of blood pumping through veins,and crimson of anger so fierce that you could burst.Knowledge is color;it is depth,and it is seeing a whole new world without having to move an inch.

It is knowledge,too,that can bring people together.I love listening to people’s stories and hearing about what they know and love,because if I learn about what they know,I can learn how they see the world;consequently,since behavior is often based upon perception,I can understand why a person behaves the way they do.On a road trip during the summer,my mom kept looking up at the streetlights lining the highways.When I asked why,she told me that whenever she saw lights by a highway she would wonder if her company had made them.She would guess how tall they were,how wide,and what style they were.She told me that ever since she started working for her company,lights no longer were just lights to her.They were a story of people who first had to measure the wind speed to figure out what dimension the lights had to be,and then of engineers,of money passing hands—possibly even under her own supervision as an accountant—and then of transportation,and of the people who had to install them.I might never perceive lights the exact way my mother does or see her“red”but by hearing her describe what she knows,I can understand her world and realize her role in ours.

Beauty and color are in the world,but it is seeking the unknown and making new connections that unlocks them from their greyscale cage.

點(diǎn)評

通讀全文，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)這篇文章結(jié)構(gòu)很好，每一段都進(jìn)一步說明了作者探索新的“知識與生活的聯(lián)系”的渴望。

在第1、2段中，她從“同一種顏色在不同人的感知中大不相同”這個(gè)科學(xué)理論開始，引起讀者的興趣，最后引出“我們所接受的教育、經(jīng)歷可以改變我們所看到的世界”這個(gè)論點(diǎn)。

在第3段，作者舉例說明了她的第一個(gè)“A-ha”時(shí)刻：開燈這樣一個(gè)小小的動作，讓她“看到”了課堂上學(xué)到的電子和粒子運(yùn)動。然后由此展開，將日?；顒优c宏觀思想聯(lián)系起來，從經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)到自然現(xiàn)象，再到政治。這是一個(gè)不斷深入和拓展的過程。

第4段起到了升華的作用，進(jìn)一步啟發(fā)我們：教育、開放的心態(tài)能夠在看似不同的世界之間架起橋梁，讓我們了解和理解他人的故事。最后用她的母親看路燈時(shí)的所思所想結(jié)尾，表明任何人都可以將他們的知識、經(jīng)驗(yàn)與所處的環(huán)境聯(lián)系起來。

總的來說，本文作者得出了一個(gè)有力的結(jié)論：教育、同理心、傾聽、理解和溝通，所有這些都驅(qū)動著她探索生活。這也讓招生官感受到了申請者是一個(gè)充滿激情、好奇心強(qiáng)、討人喜歡的學(xué)生——這一特質(zhì)被哈佛大學(xué)這樣充滿活力的學(xué)術(shù)團(tuán)體尤為看重。

哈佛大學(xué)為全美最難入讀的學(xué)府之一。學(xué)校的本科教育主要集中在文理學(xué)范疇，并占整體學(xué)生人數(shù)的一小部分。此校校友涵蓋8名美國總統(tǒng)及多國領(lǐng)袖與政治名人。其亦培養(yǎng)了62名富豪企業(yè)家及335位羅德學(xué)者，人數(shù)均為全美最多。另外，也有152名諾貝爾得獎(jiǎng)?wù)攥F(xiàn)在或曾經(jīng)在哈佛學(xué)習(xí)和工作。哈佛大學(xué)多年來于眾多大學(xué)排名里一直名列前茅。

美國藤校哈佛大學(xué)公布新一季優(yōu)秀申請人文書一覽

When Life Doesn’t Gives You Lemons

With the blazing morning sun beaming through the window,I had an inclination to make a stand to sell Lebanese laymounada-a light lemonade flavored with a splash of rosewater.Throughout my childhood,anytime the temperature spiked over seventy degrees,there would be laymounada waiting for me at my Teta’s(grandmother in Lebanese Arabic)house.

At that moment,I scoured the cabinets and secured the glass pitcher only to realize we did not have lemons.To my disappointment,I realized my days of being an entrepreneur and generating revenue from my laymounada stand were over before they could even begin.I sat at the kitchen table,wallowing in disappointment.I wanted everyone to be able to taste my Teta’s laymounada.Suddenly,I had an idea that would either prove to be inventive or a total failure.I would sell lemonade without the lemons.Revolutionary,right?

I ripped off a rectangular sheet of paper towel and jotted down my business plan.I listed the key elements of the business plan:a drawing of a cup,a rose,and the price-“fifty scents”-to correlate with the rose-themed business.I sat outside of my childhood home located in a cul-de-sac of five houses and sold my neighbors a rose drink-a combination of filtered water,packets of sugar,and a dash of rosewater.Granted,I only made about$10 from a combination of my parents and generous neighbors who did not drink the“l(fā)emonade”,but the experience allowed me to realize regardless of the obstacle,if you are passionate,you can persevere.Teta’s laymounada was my introduction to entrepreneurship.哈佛大學(xué)

The entrepreneurial skills gained from my laymounada stand allowed me to establish A&G Jewelry,co-founded with my sister when I was twelve.This business focused on representing our Lebanese heritage.Using supplies we found around our house and from our local craft store,we created a variety of pieces that featured traditional Middle Eastern coins,beads,and clay baked into the shape of Lebanon.My sister and I collaborated to create marketing tools to promote our new business.Before we knew it,A&G Jewelry had earned a spot at my church’s annual Lebanese festival.After tirelessly marketing and selling our jewelry for three days straight,we had made over$900 in revenue,which we decided to donate to the church.

Entrepreneurship took a new form in high school when my sister and I founded our second partnership,The Model Brockton City Council.We saw a need to engage our peers in local government by designing a simulation of our city council.We had to collect signatures,present to many administrators,and market our new club.The initial goal to have more people try my lemonade resonated with me as I strived to have more people engage in their civic duties.Today,over twenty-five of my classmates frequently attend my meetings.

With my first business venture selling laymounada,I made$10;with A&G Jewelry,$900;with the Model Brockton City Council,the revenue amounted to$0.Although there was not a financial gain,I attained experience as a negotiator,problem solver,creative thinker,and most importantly,I became persistent.

Twelve years have passed since that summer day with my“l(fā)aymounada,”and I have yet to maintain a long-lasting business.My six-year-old self would have seen this lack of continuity as a colossal failure,but instead,it instilled an intense curiosity in me.Little did I know the experience would remain so vivid after all these years.It has continued to push me,compelling me to challenge myself both academically and entrepreneurially.As I grow older,my intrinsic drive to have a lemonade stand,regardless of whatever obstacles come my way,persists as a deep-seated love of business.

When life doesn’t give you lemons,still make lemonade(or laymounada,as my Teta would say).

點(diǎn)評

失敗的文書各有各的不好，但許多成功拿到Offer的文書都有這樣一個(gè)共同結(jié)構(gòu)：「鉤子+錨+故事+成長」。

鉤子：“鉤子“的作用是吸引讀者。招生官員每天要讀上百篇文書，所以盡量馬上抓住他們的注意力。比如在開頭寫一些有趣的或與眾不同的東西是一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的方法。

這篇文章中用到的“鉤子”就是laymounada，黎巴嫩的laymounada有什么特別之處？它和普通的檸檬水有什么不同？Teta是誰？作者用一連串的故事迅速引起了讀者的好奇心。

錨：“錨”是一個(gè)想法或主題，用來連接、升華整篇文章。一個(gè)好的“錨”應(yīng)該是發(fā)人深省的、讓人回味無窮的。

本文的“錨”就是“生活沒有給我檸檬”——作者在家里找不到一個(gè)檸檬，所以不得不發(fā)揮創(chuàng)造力推銷不含檸檬的laymunada。這段經(jīng)歷讓她學(xué)會了堅(jiān)持不懈，并開始了一系列的嘗試。文章在結(jié)尾又呼應(yīng)了這個(gè)“錨”，將全文串聯(lián)：“When life doesn’t give you lemons,still make lemonade(or laymounada,as my Teta would say).”

故事：講故事的一大黃金法則是“show,don’t tell”，不要試圖直白地告訴招生官你是一個(gè)多么偉大的人。相反，試著用故事讓他們感受到你的個(gè)性、性格和取得的成就。

具體來看這篇文章，作者分享了許多有趣的細(xì)節(jié)，比如將飲料定價(jià)為“fifty scents”來契合玫瑰主題；開玩笑說她賺的10美元大部分來自父母和鄰居，但他們甚至懶得喝檸檬水。這些細(xì)節(jié)將作者勾勒成來一個(gè)有趣的、有創(chuàng)造力的、有進(jìn)取心的人，同時(shí)也展現(xiàn)了她的謙遜。

成長：所有優(yōu)秀的申請文書都離不開強(qiáng)調(diào)自己從之前的經(jīng)歷中學(xué)到了什么、取得了哪些成長。

例如，本文作者認(rèn)識到她的商業(yè)嘗試缺乏連續(xù)性并不是一個(gè)“巨大的失敗”，相反，這培養(yǎng)了她的好奇心、堅(jiān)持不懈的精神和對商業(yè)的熱愛。在文章的最后，很明顯能感到作者是一個(gè)對商業(yè)充滿熱情的人，能夠從每一次經(jīng)歷中吸取教訓(xùn)，并將它們應(yīng)用到下一次的努力中。

作者抓住了所有這四個(gè)關(guān)鍵要素——鉤子、錨、故事和成長——這就是這篇文章成功的原因。

哈佛大學(xué)強(qiáng)調(diào)培育學(xué)生全方位的發(fā)展，而不僅僅是局限在單一領(lǐng)域。不過，需要注意的是，學(xué)生們必須通過專業(yè)課的考試，達(dá)到基本專業(yè)要求。除此之外，選擇一些興趣課程，以此來拓寬自己的視野。